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THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY
St. Aloysius Parish Policy
We are so happy at St. Al's to have the honor of sharing in your wedding day. It is a special time in a person's life and we hope a memorable one for you and your loved ones. The information that follows here is meant to help you plan your day at St. Als.
Information for those who are anticipating Marriage at St. Al's Parish
I. Reflections on Holy Matrimony
“The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptized persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament.” (#1601)
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“The intimate community of life and love which constitutes the married state has been established by the Creator and endowed by him with its own proper laws....God himself is the author of marriage.” (#1603)
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“By reason of their state in life and of their order, [Christian spouses] have their own special gifts in the People of God.” This grace proper to the sacrament of Matrimony is intended to perfect the couple’s love and to strengthen their indissoluble unity. By this grace, they “help one another to attain holiness in their married life and in welcoming and educating their children.” (#1641)
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“The love of the spouses requires, of its very nature, the unity and indissolubility of the spouses’ community of persons, which embraces their entire life: “so they are no longer two, but one flesh.” They “are called to grow continually in their community through day-to-day fidelity to their marriage promise of total mutual, self-giving.” This human communion is confirmed, purified, and completed by communion in Jesus Christ, given through the sacrament of Matrimony. It is deepened by lives of the common faith and by the Eucharist received together. (#1644)
[Selections from Catechism of the Catholic Church]II. RATIONALE FOR A PARISH POLICYThe Catholic Church nourishes the lives of members through the seven sacraments. These special sacred rituals are by their nature public, community events. In the sacrament of Matrimony, the Church celebrates God’s presence in scripture and in the covenanted love of the couple. The celebration of the Eucharist often serves to underscore our belief in Christ’s presence during this special occasion. Christ blesses the couple and the community, and our actions make God’s real presence visible.
The sacrament of Matrimony is best envisioned as a process, which begins long before the wedding day, and lasts far beyond the ceremony. In our Catholic tradition, the COUPLE themselves, not the priest or deacon, are ministers of the sacrament. The role of the Church and priest is not to give the sacrament to them. It is to support and give witness to their own parishioners who request and live the sacrament of Matrimony. This happens through intense preparation not only for the wedding day but for married life.
III. CELEBRATING A MARRIAGE AT ST. ALOYSIUS CHURCHThe following persons may marry at St. Aloysius Church, assuming all necessary preparation has been completed:
- Active, registered adult parishioners of our parish
- Dependents of active and registered parishioners
- For appropriate pastoral reasons, an active member of another parish with their local pastor’s approval
IV. ARRANGING A WEDDING AT ST. ALOYSIUS CHURCH
The first step is to contact the pastor of the parish. This should be done as soon as possible but no less than six (6) months prior to a proposed date. No date may be established and confirmed without first contacting the pastor who will then determine the availability of the date with the parish schedule. DO NOT ASSUME IN YOUR PLANNING THAT YOUR FIRST CHOICE WILL BE GRANTED. Many schedules have to be consulted before the date is made available.
Once the date is confirmed, the couple is asked to have an initial interview with the celebrating priest. At this time the marriage preparation program is explained, as well as the marriage policy of the Diocese of Springfield in Illinois.
V. STEPS FOR MARRIAGE PREPARATION
Generally, a number of meetings are required with the priest or deacon who will celebrate your wedding. During these meetings the following steps will be followed:
A. Initial Interview-- a simple interview process which is done for all Catholic marriages throughout the world. In this interview, any extraordinary circumstances are discussed (previous marriages, age requirements, interfaith requirements, pregnancy, cohabitation, etc.).
Any party of the intended marriage who has previously contracted marriage either in a church or civilly, baptized Christian or non-baptized person, must immediately make the priest aware of this situation. In some instances, wedding dates cannot be set until this previous marriage(s) has been examined and resolved by the Church.B. Marriage Inventory -- Each couple will be asked to complete a marriage inventory assessment of their relationship. The instrument most frequently used has been designed by marriage counselors and is intended to help you understand more fully your relational strengths and weaknesses. It is not intended as a measure of marital success or to determine when or whether you should be married. A fee is required of the couple to have the instrument scored. This instrument will be given prior to taking the Pre-Cana program in the Diocese of Springfield. You will be contacted as to how to take it once you have registered for the Pre-Cana session.
C. Formal Marriage Preparation Program-- Each couple will be required to complete a formal marriage preparation program such as Pre-Cana or Engaged Encounter. Schedules will be provided to the couple and do not necessarily have to be taken in the city or diocese in which the marriage is to be celebrated. In most cases, the preparation program is sponsored by a team consisting of a priest, deacon, married couples, medical and legal personnel, as well as marriage counselors who share various topics/aspects of married life. Special programs are offered for couples wherein one or both parties have been previously married.
D. Completion of required diocesan papers-- Each diocese has formal interrogatory papers that must be completed. Copies of a couples’ baptism (for all those baptized) and confirmation certificates (for Catholics) are required and must be issued within six months from the date of marriage.E. Planning the Wedding Ceremony-- This is done with the celebrating priest or deacon. You will also be asked to consult with the director of music and/or organist in planning the music for the ceremony and abide by parish music policies which you will find in this handbook.
VI. PARISH FEES FOR THE WEDDING
Please note that all fees must be paid by the time of the scheduled rehearsal for the wedding:
For all weddings celebrated at St. Aloysius Church there is a fee of $300.00 payable to St. Aloysius Church.
If permission is given by the pastor for a non-parishioner to celebrate a wedding at St. Aloysius Church, a fee of $500.00 is required for the use and upkeep of the Church. The check should be made payable to St. Aloysius Church.
If a Mass is celebrated and the parish provides servers, the two servers should be paid a stipend of $10.00 each.
It is customary to give a stipend to the priest/deacon who is celebrating the wedding. This should be payable directly to them.
Musicians’ fees are contracted and paid directly to them. Make sure you know their costs prior to engaging them for your ceremony. Fees do vary. Musicians are not required to be at the rehearsal. If you wish to have them present, many will charge an additional fee.
VII. TIMES FOR WEDDINGS
Weddings may be held on Friday evenings or Saturdays. Afternoon wedding normally begins no later than 2:00 p.m. This allows adequate time for pictures and other necessary items to be completed before 3:30 Confessions.
Evening weddings, especially on Friday, can be arranged in consultation with the pastor. For pastoral reasons, a wedding may occur on Saturday evening, but not before 6:00 p.m.
VIII. CHOOSING A MASS OR CEREMONY
For two baptized Catholics, the Eucharist is a sacrament of unity reserved for those who share full membership in our faith. A wedding between two practicing Catholics normally takes place within the Eucharist (Mass).
A wedding between a Catholic and a member of another Christian faith usually takes place with a service of scripture readings and prayers. If one member of the couple is not a baptized Christian, this is the only option the Catholic Church allows.
IX. WEDDING PARTY
The Church has a small bridal dressing room for use by the bride and attendants. The groomsmen and ushers come already dressed to the Church since no dressing room is available for them.
Absolutely NO ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES are to be brought on the Church property or in the Church proper. Likewise, one should not bring soft drinks, coffee, food, etc. into the Church.
The wedding party is responsible for cleaning up after the wedding. This includes the bridal room, aisle runner, pew decorations, altar decorations, etc. Our maintenance staff does not work on weekends, and the Church must be in order for the Saturday evening and Sunday morning Masses. Trash cans will be provided.
X. REHEARSAL
Each wedding celebrated at St. Aloysius Church generally requires a rehearsal. The time of the rehearsal is set with the celebrating priest or deacon and takes into consideration the parish schedule of events. The rehearsal is scheduled the night prior to the wedding. All those actively involved in the wedding celebration are asked to be in attendance, if possible.
XI. VISITING CLERGY TO CELEBRATE YOUR WEDDING
Many couples and families have priests who are of special importance to them. You are welcome to have a visiting priest celebrate your wedding. Please notify the pastor of this request when you make your initial contact with the parish. Visiting clergy are responsible for handling all marriage preparations with the couple. They are asked to abide by all parish policies. The parish will make the policies known to the celebrating priest when delegation has been granted. For clergy from outside the diocese all proper permissions and letters of good standing ought to be on file and included in the marriage folder.
In the case of interfaith marriages, ministers of other faiths are welcome to join the celebration. The Bishop of the diocese does allow them the opportunity to participate in a limited, yet important way. There are certain diocesan permissions that must be received in such a case. Please inform the celebrating priest as soon as possible if this pertains to you.
XII. FLOWERS AND DECORATIONS
The pastoral staff of the parish will assist you as you plan for flowers and decorations for the celebration of your wedding.
The couple needs to be aware of the various liturgical seasons of the Church year: Advent (purple), Christmas (whites/golds), Lent (purple) and Ordinary Time (green). During these seasons these are the dominant colors used for Church decorating. During these times, because Church decorations take precedence, you may not move or remove anything from the altar area without the explicit permission of the pastor and the chairperson of the Art and Environment Committee.
The Church has two flower stands for use. Your own floral arrangements are welcome. The use of a Unity Candle is discouraged as are all other minor symbols not explicitly a part of the Marriage Rite. An aisle runner is discouraged. If decorations are placed on the end of the pew no tape or any substance that would leave a permanent mark may be used. Rather you may use clamps or ribbon tie-arounds. If you have questions about this or think you'd like to talk about an exception, please ask the pastor.
No use of rice, birdseed or any other throwable item is allowed after the ceremony. Rather, we'd suggest something like bubbles or small noisemakers.
A podium is available for a guest book to be placed in the main vestibule of the Church.
You are responsible for the clean up of all flowers, petals, aisle runners, pew decorations, and program booklets.
XIII. PHOTOGRAPHY
We strongly recommend that as many pictures as possible be taken before the ceremony. Photographs and videos may be taken during the ceremony, but the photographers and videographers must be discrete and reverent. Once the wedding procession has begun, the photographer/videographer must limit movement to the side aisles or the rear of the Church. At no time ought the photographer approach the steps to the sanctuary.
Under NO circumstances are the photographs or videos to be taken from the altar or through the arch of the tabernacle altar.
At all times, photographers and videographers, as well as members of the wedding party, should remember that the Church is the house of God, and all should act with due reverence.
Please be aware in arranging for pictures that confessions begin at 3:30 p.m. on Saturday afternoons and Mass is celebrated at 4:30 p.m.
Photographers are not to remove microphone stands or adjust lighting without the assistance of the pastor or celebrating priest.
As you contract with the photographer/videographer, you are expected to share the details of this policy with them.
XIV. PLANNING THE LITURGY
In one of the sessions with the celebrating priest, the couple will be introduced to the various liturgical requirements and options for their Mass/service. The Church allows a variety of reading, music, and prayer selections. A book will be provided to help in this process. It is important that the couple plan their ceremony together and select choices that speak of the special meaning of marriage for them.
A couple may choose to prepare and print a program booklet to be used for the celebration. The priest or director of music can provide assistance in planning the program booklet. Once the program is prepared, it is wise to have the celebrating clergy review it before final printing.
All programs should be removed from the Church and pews before leaving for the reception.
XV. MUSIC
WHAT MUSIC DO WE USE?
The style of music is a matter of taste. Folk, classical or contemporary composition all find a place at the wedding liturgy. The following types of music are appropriate:
- Any classical instrumental music
- Any sung or instrumental Christian or religious music
- Any hymn or psalm you hear sung at a weekend liturgy in our Church
- Any Christian hymn
A wealth of instrumental and sacred music is available for weddings. You should select music in conjunction with those who will play and sing it. Please read this information carefully and be sensitive to the guidelines established here. The list in this booklet (see "Music Selections for your Wedding") gives some specific suggestions for music appropriate to Catholic worship.
WHEN DO WE SING?
Music is a basic element of Catholic worship and is essential the liturgy. A wedding at St. Aloysius Church should follow the same basic pattern as our public prayer at weekend Eucharist. Music for any wedding, whether or not it is a Mass, ought to be done so that people of the assembly have the opportunity to pray those parts which belong to them and to sing those parts which should be sung by the praying assembly. In light of these guidelines:
- The Responsorial Psalm (between the readings) and the Gospel Acclamation (Prior to the gospel reading) should be intoned by a trained cantor and the refrain sung by the assembly.
- At weddings which are celebrated as a Mass, the Alleluia, the Holy, Memorial Acclamation, and Amen should be sung by the assembly, led by a trained cantor.
WHAT MUSIC SHOULD WE AVOID?
One should avoid “traditional” wedding marches from Tannheuser & Lohenrin—written to accompany mock weddings within the operas they come from (e.g. “Here comes the Bride”).
One should avoid secular songs. Rarely would music borrowed from the entertainment world suitably express the faith present at a Christian marriage. Every generation has its love songs. Some of these are great music. They may have a place on your wedding day, but that place is not likely to be the liturgy.
One should avoid using pre-recorded music. Accompaniment tracks, CD’s, cassette tapes, and the like, diminish the integrity of the wedding liturgy.
WHO SHOULD PROVIDE THE MUSIC FOR OUR WEDDING?
An organist and cantor are the two basic musicians needed. You may have a family member or friend who is a musician and who wishes to play or sing at your wedding. We welcome guest musicians as long as they are capable and experienced. A rehearsal with the organist is required. The parish office has a list of organists and soloist. Keep in mind the difference between a cantor and a soloist. The primary responsibility of the cantor is leading the people in sung prayer. If there is only one singer, the cantor needs to be skilled at cantoring, as well as solo singing.
WHO "APPROVES" THE MUSIC?
All music selections must have the approval of the celebrant or parish liturgist and must meet the requirements in the "Wedding Music Guidelines" document published by the Diocese of Springfield.
WHAT ARE THE MUSICIAN FEES?
The musicians' fees are contracted and paid directly to them. The cost varies from musician to musician. The average fee ranges from $125.00 to $175.00 per musician. Fees are due at time of service (your wedding day). Musicians schedule their own rehearsals, and they are not required at the wedding rehearsal.
HOW DO WE SELECT THE MUSIC?
The parish musician can help you discover and select your music. You will need to arrange a mutually convenient time to plan your wedding music selections. Usually, the organist and the singer are present and the meeting venue is the Church. The meeting usually lasts an hour. With help from your music ministers, you will fill out a planning sheet with the music details (titles, composers, etc.) You will find this helpful, particularly if you are providing printed programs for your wedding guests. These details help you and the musicians plan the amount and type of music you will need (See "Sample Wedding Music Form").
SAMPLE WEDDING MUSIC FORM
St. Aloysius Church
BRIDE:____________________________________________________________
GROOM:__________________________________________________________
HOME PHONE:___________________ WORK PHONE:___________________
WEDDING DATE/TIME:_______________________________________________________
PRESIDER:________________________________________________________
ATTENDANTS______RING______FLOWER______
LOCATION:____________________________
#GUESTS:______________________________
VOCALISTS:_______________________________________________________
INSTRUMENTALISTS:______________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
THE LITURGY
PRELUDE: may be instrumental or sung
PROCESSIONAL
Mothers may be instrumental or sung
Bridesmaids & Bride an instrumental processional or two is recommended
Bride Same as above
GATHERING HYMN (optional): if used, should be sung by entire assembly
OPENING PRAYER
FIRST READING
RESPONSORIAL PSALM Must be a psalm text with a sung refrain.
(Print the text in your program!)
SECOND READING:
GOSPEL ACCLAMATION A sung alleluia, or during Lent, another Acclamation. Again, a sung refrain is required.
GOSPEL READING
HOMILY
EXCHANGE OF WEDDING VOWS
BLESSING OF RINGS
PRAYERS OF THE FAITHFUL
PRESENTATION OF GIFTS (MASS ONLY) A brief song or instrumental background is appropriate here as the bread & wine are brought forward and the altar prepared.
EUCHARISTIC ACCLAMATIONS (MASS ONLY) These must be sung at all weddings with a Mass. The cantor should lead them. Haugen's "Mass of Creation" provides the currently best-known setting in Catholic Churches. These include the Holy Holy, Memorial Acclamation, Amen and Lamb of God.
OUR FATHER should be spoken by the assembly at this time. If a sung Lord's Prayer is desired, then it should be done as a prelude or Communion Meditation.
SIGN OF PEACE A short instrumental selection may be appropriate at this time.
COMMUNION (MASS ONLY) Music during communion may be a solo song, a song with a refrain for the assembly, or simply instrumental. Any song or hymn you would hear at communion time in a Church could be appropriate.
FINAL BLESSING
RECESSIONAL May be instrumental, but may also be a joyful congregational hymn. Music may continue to be played or sung as people are leaving Church.
MUSIC SELECTIONS FOR YOUR WEDDING*
Processionals & Recessionals (instrumentals)
Air from "Water Music" (Handel)
Arioso (Bach)*
Canon in D (Pachelbel)*
Hornpipe from "Water Music" (Handel)*
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring (Bach)*
Ode to Joy (Beethoven)
Rigaudon - Campra
Trumpet Tune (Clarke)
Trumpet Voluntary (Clarke)*
Trumpet Voluntary - Stanley
Trumpet Voluntary (Young)
Hymns
Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee
Lord of All Hopefulness/Bridegroom and Bride (SLANE) GIA
Love Divine, All Loves Excelling
Love is the Sunlight (Morning has Broken) GIA
Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow (Old Hundredth)
Seating of Mothers/Flowers to Blessed Mother
Any instrumental or meditation song
Ave Maria (e.g. Schuber, Bach-Gounod, Norbet)*
Hail Mary, Gentle Woman
Responsorial Psalms
Psalm 16: The Path of Life - Soper
Psalm 16: Center of my Life - Inwood
Psalm 24: I Have Loved You - Joncas
Psalm 25: To You O Lord - Soper
Psalm 33: God is Love _ Haas*
Psalm 34: Taste and See – Moore*
Psalm 63: My soul is Thirsting - Angrisano
Psalm 103: The Lord is Kind and Merciful – Cotter (GIA)*
Psalm 114/115 We Praise You - Dameans
Psalm 116: The Name of God - Haas
Psalm 128: Blest Are Those Who Love You – Haugen (GIA)*
Communion Songs
Blest Are They
Make Me A Channel of Your Peace
One Bread, One Body
On Eagles' Wings
Panis Angelicus
Ubi Caritas
We Have Been Told
You Are Mine
Others (Meditations/Preludes/Blessing /optionals)
Bist Du Bei Mir (Bach)
How Beautiful - Paris
Irish Blessing
Love Endures – Moore GIA
The Greatest Gift – Marchiaonda*
The Greatest of These is Love – Ridge
The Prayer*
The Lord's Prayer (Malotte)*
Walk with Them Lord – Besig*
Wonder of Wonders – Haas GIA
*The above-listed songs are suggestions only, and not considered to be exclusive or exhaustive.
Please call the parish office with your questions and for more information on being married at St. Aloysius Parish.
Updated October 26, 2017
By Fr. Clint, O.P.
Pastor